Home
by princessg101
Summary: Song Fic featuring 'I'm Coming Home'. Dean goes back to where they are...


Home

 **A/N: Hey guys, I'm not sure why but every time I hear this song I think of Dean and everything he lost. So here is my tribute to him. No copyright infringement intended, this song belongs to Diddy and Skylar Grey. ENJOY! R &R PLZ! **

_I'm coming home. I'm coming home. Tell the World I'm coming home…_

Dean had told Sam he was going out for a drink, those were the kinds of lies they told each other. It was so much about lying as it was not wanting to talk at all. Sam knew, it was their language, phrases at the right moment and right time meant something that was never translated aloud. He'd certainly be getting one…after. He couldn't help himself, no matter how hard he tried. Every single time they came close, he had to see them. He pulled up to the house, their home, except it was no longer his but it still felt like it. His eyes travelled back to another lifetime, one where he was husband and father to a family that loved him.

He could remember everything with perfect clarity. Barbeques and movie nights. Bonding time with Ben and Sunday dinners. From afar, he watched Lisa check her mail unaware that at one time she would nag him to go do it even bribe him with pie. They had been so content but he wasn't, not really, in that dark place within him. The hunt and the supernatural hadn't really ever left him. He tried but when Sam showed up, it was like he was back in his element again. He wished he could've given them more, done more but he just didn't know how to be what they needed.

But it all unraveled quickly. It was relatively small things at first but it escalated to the point where he couldn't control it anymore. Being Dean 'the family man' was damn harder than being Dean 'the hunter' mainly because the hunter would never leave him. He couldn't stop himself from scanning the newspapers, from keeping his guns in top condition. He thought tomorrow it would get better but it never did. Maybe that's why he never thought about marrying Lisa, he knew in that shadowy part of his heart that it wasn't meant to be. Still Ben looked up to him but what was there to see? He refused to let his adopted son train as a hunter, tried to convince Ben – and himself – that they were living a normal life now.

He hid Baby away but it only felt worse to put her under tarp like she was something to be ashamed of. That car had been his home for all his life and now he had a house but it wasn't the same. How had Sam walked away? Did being angry at John help? Or was it because he got to choose, given the choice to leave and took it because he wanted it? He chose to sacrifice himself to put away Lucifer but Dean didn't have a choice, not one, not really. He came to Lisa because there was nothing left for him and it was his brother's last wish to see him be normal. But when he came back, Dean was ready to go back to hunting. Even if Lisa was onboard, he felt like he had dragged them into something they should have never been a part of.

Dean's throat tightened as Ben came home and Lisa gave him a hug before going inside. They had made him feel so much more than some guy who was destined to die before his time. He missed them so much but he knew he had to stay away, for their sake. They had made him want to be better and try to be better and he held on to that. He may not be destined to have that apple pie family-life but he had Sam, he had Cas, and he had Lisa and Ben's memories. The ones that remain untarnished by hunting. They gave him something to fight for, a reminder of what it was all worth and for that he could spare a little thanks to whatever was up there. He gave the house one last look before getting back into Baby and driving off. Back to his brother who'd know him well enough to pretend that the bar's beer was crappy and not worth drinking. Sam would lie and say he still smelt like a cheap liquor and tell him to shower and he'd give in. After that, Sam would give him a fresh beer and take his one punch-free opportunity to ask "How are they?". Dean would shrug and say "Fine" then the subject was dropped. Not because he was pretending but because he knew the difference between home and shelter and even though the beds were crappy and the cases could be a bitch, Dean was home.

 _I'm coming home  
I'm coming home  
Tell the World I'm coming... home  
_


End file.
